Predictable
adjective:
Something that is predictable happens in a way that you know about before it happens.
If we take what Sunderland manager Regis Le Bris said in the build-up to the Wear-Tees Derby (which they can claim it be now that they’ve won):
“They don't have random ranges of different attack, so we know exactly how they can beat us which means we know exactly how we solve the problem.”
That is a long-form way of saying what we already know Boro to be: predictable.
Pick another word. There’s a few that would apply to this performance. Insipid, tedious, limp, powderpuff, pedestrian. I could go on. I mean, it would be quite cathartic to go on.
Michael Carrick’s side played that football match with about as much pace as your great-grandad using the zebra crossing. Even worse, it just stayed that way.
Ben Doak’s introduction at least gave Boro a momentary stint of something resembling quickness, but that was really all it was - a stint. We then reverted back to the usual approach of aimlessly passing the ball around the 18 yard box with no craft or creativity.
It was one of the poorest displays I’ve seen from us under Carrick actually, and it could’ve been so different.
When Isaiah Jones lifted a ball into the box for the onrushing Tommy Conway, I thought we’d won the lottery. What do you mean Jones has delivered a ball right onto the head of our top scorer? Oh, and he’s not scored? Shock.
My weekly headloss hadn’t even begun at that point, but best be known it did when Chris Rigg put the Mackems 1-0 up.
I quickly brought up the podcast group chat and sent a message that may seem reactionary, but it’s rather buried in the theme of predictability. ‘We’ve lost this now, 1000%’. I just knew it. You probably knew it too.
As soon as a side takes the lead against us, an all too familiar story plays out. They will camp men behind the ball and force Boro to play in areas that don’t threaten that lead whatsoever. Boro don’t up the tempo or get smarter, they just pack men forward and hope for the best.
There was around 72 minutes on the clock and I was thinking ‘if there is a God, he’ll make Simon Hooper blow his whistle right now’. I couldn’t be arsed with us having all the ball and doing nothing with it. Again.
It’s a thudding contrast to the football of old under Carrick, where being in losing positions prompted more of a lick of the lips and a rubbing of the hands than a roll of the eyes and a puff of the cheeks.
We used to be so fun to watch under him. I have no regrets in saying the 2022/23 season showcased the best football I’ve ever seen from a Middlesbrough team. We were bubbling with exciting attacking venom which opponents just could not deal with.
Now, we huff and we puff and we huff and puff some more, but we struggle to even unlock the door, nevermind blowing the whole house down.
“I thought we were the better team,” Carrick said post-match. That is one of those comments that makes you wonder what game they’ve been watching. To say Boro were the better team would suggest they deserved something from the game, but we got everything we deserved - which was nothing.
Whether it’s him, his players or a mixture of both, a response needs to be found to this problem, because I fear that game won’t be the last of its kind but rather a continuation of what we’ve already come to expect.
If Boro do continue in this way, maybe the popular comfort blanket statement ‘it will click’ needs to be turned into a question of ‘will it click?’ instead.
It’s taking longer than it should but fans are slowly realising what a fraud Kieran Scott is. Three failed left backs and endless billy barndoors with no end product like burgzorg, Hamilton and azaz.
Jones gets grief from the fans yet set up two golden chances. We badly miss Howson as morris can’t pass water. The shot he had second half shows how bad his technique is. Hackney should be fined every time he shoots as he’s absolutely terrible.
The football we are playing ( the carrick way ) is not winning us football matches, it’s good we are keeping hold of the ball and playing with it and having all the possession in the world but it’s not being creative enough, we are not testing the opposition goalkeepers, we are always trying for the sweaty cross it across the box on the floor tap in goals, it’s seems to be the same team or similar team, formation week in week out and we are not benefiting from the squad we have with rotation,